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I was now supposed to be one of the glamorous elite,
cheerfully enjoying the ‘high life’. The
public expected me to live up to this image so resorting
to intoxicants was the only way for me to overcome
my insecurity and shyness. I seriously lost control:
staying up late, drinking, partying, smoking endless
cigarettes. Within a year I found myself in hospital
lying on my back sick with Tuberculosis. The pop business
was whizzing past me and I was left there to think:
'What happened?'
Soon I became aware of my own mortality and the inevitability
of death. Lying there, in a Sussex hospital deep in
the country, surrounded by doctors, a lot of important
questions came into my mind. That was a very important
stage of my life. At that time there was a great interest
in things eastern, things transcendental: so I turned
towards Peace and Flower Power. Somebody had given
me a copy of a Buddhist book called 'The Secret Path'.
That was the beginning of my ardent search for answers
- clear answers, about the meaning of our existence
and where it was all leading.
I started meditating; and so the centre of the universe
at that time was levitating somewhere around the proximity
of my belly button. I covered all the mirrors in my
hospital room with paper and tried to forget the outwardness
of this world and focus on my inner self. It wasn’t
long before I had grown a beard.
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Well I left my happy
home
to see what I could find out
I left my folk and friends
with the aim to clear my mind out
Well I hit the rowdy road and many kinds I met there
Many stories told me of the way to get there
So on and on I go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know,
And I’m on the road to find out
Well in the end I’ll know, but on the way
I wonder
Through descending snow,
And through the frost and thunder
I listen to the wind come howl,
Telling me I have to hurry
I listen to the robin's song saying not to worry
So on and on I go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know,
And I’m on the road to Findout
Then I found myself alone; hopin' someone would
miss me
Thinking about my home, and the last woman to kiss
me, kiss me
But sometimes you have to moan
When nothing seems to suit your
But nevertheless you know you're locked towards
the future
So on and on you go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know,
And I’m on the road to Findout
Then I found my head one day when I wasn't even
trying
And here I have to say, 'cause there is no use in
lying, lying
Yes the answer lies within, so why not take a look
now?
Kick out the devil's sin, pick up, pick up a good
book now
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| ON THE ROAD
TO FIND OUT |
The world is a place of transition, full of
examples; be pilgrims therein, and take warning
from the traces of those that have gone before.
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| (Jesus Christ)
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After
that period of convalescence and regaining my health,
I came back to writing. A lot of my songs were now
much more reflective and deeply personalised - less
‘poppy’. I’d left the days of ‘Here
Comes My Baby’ and was now looking for that
mystic peace. The kind of songs I was writing about
were questions that remained with me and which were
persistently knocking at my conscience. I started
to design my own album covers, painting mostly in
the eastern European style of the naive artists. There
were various styles and techniques but essentially,
I was more concerned with the painting of words and
the messages they were giving out.
This was just beginning of my search to discover the
conscious self within me. Like a newborn, my soul
was thirsty for the primary milk of understanding. |
I listen to the wind
To the wind of my soul
Where I’ll end up well I think,
Only god really knows
I've sat upon the setting sun
But never, never never never
I never wanted water once
No, never, never, never
I listen to my words but
They fall far below
I let my music take me where
My heart wants to go
I swam upon the devil's lake
But never, never, never, never,
I'll never make the same mistake
No, never, never, never
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| THE WIND |
Those who have once begun their
heavenward pilgrimage may not go down again to darkness
and the journey beneath the earth, but they live in
light always.
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| (Plato)
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My
second career took off in a way we never expected,
especially in the States. This happened at a time
when there was a broad appreciation for more gentle,
reflective songs. These were the blossoming 70's,
and the whole thing suddenly skyrocketed. Throughout
the whole experience, one of the most important aspects
- emphasised in my lyrics, particularly - was a sense
of ‘journey’.
Religious images were still very strong in my mind.
I knew there was a difference between right and wrong,
but was passionately opposed to ritual and dogma;
I didn’t like the idea of being told exactly
what to do and I was looking for a more flexible,
spiritual way. Then I wrote ‘Peace Train’.
Where it would actually end up? No one knew. The train
was just rolling on ‘the edge of darkness’.
That was the peace movement; the spiritual track many
of my generation and I was on. |
Now I’ve been happy lately,
Thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun
Oh I’ve been smiling lately,
dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be, some day it's going to
come
Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a
peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home
again
Now I’ve been smiling lately,
thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun
Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on now peace train
Yes, peace train holy roller
Everyone jump upon the peace train
Come on now peace train
Get your bags together; go bring your good friends
too
Cause it's getting nearer, it soon will be with
you
Now come and join the living, it's not so far from
you
And it's getting nearer; soon it will all be true
Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on now peace train
Yes, peace train
Now I’ve been crying lately,
thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating, why can't we live in bliss?
Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a
peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home
again
Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on now peace train
Yes, peace train holy roller
Everyone jump upon the peace train
Come on, come on, come on!
Yes come on peace train
Yes it’s the peace train
Come on now peace train
O Peace train
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| PEACE TRAIN |
I
started studying different religions: I looked into
Zen Buddhism, Hinduism and other forms of eastern
mysticism. As time went on I decided to look back
into my Greek heritage and came across Pythagoras.
Perhaps, I suspected, he had the right answer and
everything can be worked out through some formula;
it is all just one amazing mathematical puzzle. After
all, scientists always looked for correlations and
sequences to explain and predict events in the world
of existence.
A simple nomad was once asked, “What is the
evidence of the existence of a Supreme Being?”
He answered, “Droppings indicate the existence
of camels; footprints are evidences of a walker; and
yet when a heaven with constellations and an earth
with mountain passes is presented before us, is this
not evidence of an Exalted and All-Powerful God?”
There are indications everywhere; the truth might
be screaming out, but the noise of daily life makes
it difficult to hear.
I’d looked at Astrology; and threw the I-Ching,
everything that you’d expect from those kinds
of days and that kind of era. But I still wasn’t
satisfied; there were still major doubts. Later I
came in touch with Sufism and read some poems of the
Muslim poet, Rumi: |
Hearken to this Reed forlorn,
Breathing, even since ‘twas torn
From its rushy bed, a strain
Of impassioned love and pain
“The secret of my song, though near,
None can see and none can hear.
Oh, for a friend to know the sign
And mingle all his soul with mine!
‘Tis the flame of Love that fired me,
‘Tis the wine of Love inspired me.
Woudst thou learn how lovers bleed,
Hearken, hearken to the Reed!”
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| ( Jalaluddin
Rumi) |
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I
was very impressed, but still wasn’t there.
In a rather strange way, I was trying to find out
the truth and shrink my ego whilst still being projected
as an icon. That, of course, wasn't easy. But music
was clearly illustrating my journey.
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